Friday, July 10, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Irony
?Why......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the
store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes
at the?front.
Why ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a?diet
coke.
Why ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the
counters.
Why ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and
put our useless junk in the garage.
Why . .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair,
But darkens our skin??
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid
made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why
don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes
at the?front.
Why ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a?diet
coke.
Why ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the
counters.
Why ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and
put our useless junk in the garage.
Why . .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair,
But darkens our skin??
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid
made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why
don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Monday, July 6, 2009
De-capita
"An army cannot be built without reprisals. Masses of men cannot be led to death unless the command has the death penalty in its arsenal. So long as those malicious tailless apes that are so proud of their technical achievements — the animals that we call men — will build armies and wage wars, the command will always be obliged to place the soldiers between the possible death in the front and the inevitable one in the rear." - Leon Trotsky
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Good Romance is...
Any of Jane Austen's works. They are: Pride and Prejudice, Emma, Sense and Sensibility, Persuasion, Northanger Abbey, and Mansfield Park.
Picking one of them up has proven more educational than 5 years worth of secondary school English Language, although admittedly that isn't much of a compliment, with the way they teach the subject nowadays. Much better to say that her work has been described as the Parthenon of fiction. So drop Twilight and start on one of these, because Twilight will never hope to equal the achievement of having been described thus.
I will not review any of them for fear of not doing them justice. I will simply vouch for their being works of genius, and entreat you to read for yourself.
Picking one of them up has proven more educational than 5 years worth of secondary school English Language, although admittedly that isn't much of a compliment, with the way they teach the subject nowadays. Much better to say that her work has been described as the Parthenon of fiction. So drop Twilight and start on one of these, because Twilight will never hope to equal the achievement of having been described thus.
I will not review any of them for fear of not doing them justice. I will simply vouch for their being works of genius, and entreat you to read for yourself.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Fatalism is...
...not defering your NS. You're still going to have to do it. Eventually.
So...you're going to pay me to loaf around in the jungle for 3 months? Alright then!
So...you're going to pay me to loaf around in the jungle for 3 months? Alright then!
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